It's been a while since I was on here last. To be honest, I've been suffering from lack of motivation, as well as time, on the blog front, but I did want to assure you that I will be posting part 2 of the "YFC Years" piece soon. Haven't forgotten, but whereas some people love to write and do so very well, it is always a tremendous effort for me. (I was going to say it's like giving birth, but with so many mothers as my friends, including one very expectant one, I know they would beat me to a pulp for saying that!!).
I won't pretend that I am upset that 2010 is over. It was a year of waiting, and waiting, and frustration...and waiting, and I finished the year much as I started -- with my future in limbo -- but considerably more frustrated with myself at the way I handled what was certainly the toughest year spiritually I have ever had to face up to.
Clearly I want to do a better job dealing with the enemy's attacks in 2011, and to do that I need to deepen my relationship with God, first and foremost. I have had enough of people at my church saying what an amazing time with God/worship time/service they just had, while all I could do was stand there and say "I just felt like it was work".
Obviously it would be nice for a positive and speedy outcome to my visa status too, but I have learned over the years that what might seem to be sensible and clear to me isn't necessarily the way that God views things, so although I hope that this isn't another year of waiting and hiatus, I'm prepared for the fact that it could very well be that way, even if it is the last thing I would want.
So pray for me as I try and deal with circumstances that pretty much got on top of me last year. Pray that God will help turn things around, and that I won't be constantly frustrated with myself.
Thank you, and do be looking out for the rest of the YFC Years story...if I can remember to write it!!
And one more thing. Happy New Year.
4 comments:
Sorry to hear that many times of leading worship felt like work...I'm sure all musicians in the church world feel that way one time or another...just don't stay there! :)
Interesting thing. A very well respected British worship leader I worked with once told me that, in a way ( and I do stress, in a way) worship leading is work, in that you as worship leaders are charged with the responsibility of leading others into God's presence.
He advised that worship leaders and worshipers should make sure they have their own personal worship time with God before this, so that they can freely engage with the creator, and so that when it comes to the service or event, they are fully able to concentrate on making sure the congregation are not confused, distracted, or otherwise prevented from fully engaging.
With all of that said, of course, you can and should meet with God in these times, and that is where I feel I have been falling down. I'm very much aware of the need to concentrate and do my part in helping others worship, but like you say, being too distanced all the time is really not healthy.
I hope Trevor doesn't think that for me it is all a slog and a negative thing, because it isn't. It's quite the opposite -- 99.9% of the time!I guess it's just a balance, like I say. Anyway, all prayers appreciated :-)
Good grief! That should have been another blog posting!! Dangit!
Oh no, you are totally right...you are there to help lead US into worship. You are a part of that...and it is a responsibility much like in a 'job'! It's your ministry, but it's very high profile...
Just the bad parts of "work" are the parts ya don't want to feel every time you get up there. And like I said, I'm sure it's super common. Everybody has rough and "off" days.
But you're right...keeping focused and having a good time with Him separate from a specific worship setting (sat or sun) I think is key...I know Trev does this!
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