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Stoke on Trent, Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Broadcaster, musician, song writer, tea drinker and curry lover.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014


It was Fathers' Day last week. Not my favourite day really, since the loss of my own dad ten years ago, but there is actually another reason why I try to avoid all mention of this day, and I've been agonizing over whether I should even talk about it, but I decided I would. So here goes.

If I were in a better place, I am sure I would find very touching the many posts on social media from women on Fathers' Day who want to affirm their husband or life partner as "the right choice" or "the best choice" that they could have made. And yes of course I understand and agree with their sentiments, especially as many of the dads I see referred to are people I know well, and for whom I have the highest regard.

The problem for me - speaking as a long time single person -  is that all that lodges in my mind is "Nobody chose me. I wasn't chosen."

It would be easy to sink into a funk of self pity and resentment, but then of course the truth hits me - nothing earth shattering in its shock value, but no less profound - and the irony is that if anyone else says this to you but God, you would want to flatten them! And that truth is this: I HAVE been chosen. By God. 

In John chapter 15 and verse 16, Jesus says to his disciples: "You did not choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." (NLT)

This is not just a choice of a partner for life, this is the choice of a co-heir for eternity. This is a big deal. Time and again when I am tempted to sink back into self pity, God has a way of reminding me that it's actually about the long haul, it's forever with God, and there are times -- such as right now -- when I have to type this through gritted teeth because I just do not want to have to admit it, but there are more important things in the scheme of things than being single in this life.

So there you have it. maybe not earth shattering, but sometimes the perspective can be useful. We are chosen by God for EVER, not just a lifetime. And if - like me - you DO have to say it through gritted teeth, so be it.