The thing about guys....

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . ...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they'd better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of myself-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their ...

''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud. ''What?'' says Roger, startled.

''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . . Oh, I feel so ...

'' (She breaks down, sobbing.) ''What?'' says Roger.

''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''

''There's no horse?'' says Roger. ''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says. ''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer. ''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes,'' he says. (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) ''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says. ''What way?'' says Roger. ''That way about time,'' says Elaine.

''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.'' (Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse.

(At last she speaks.) ''Thank you, Roger,'' she says. ''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of chips, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: ''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?''

Sing a new song, take your teeth out

Having just seen Mamma Mia - finally - several thoughts are buzzing around in my mind.....






1 It was a great movie
2 Julie Walters is truly wonderful
3 James Bond doesn't sing. I'm sorry, he just doesn't.
4 Greek Islands look really nice and I want one.
5 Abba's music is truly timeless and there are very few songs better than Dancing Queen.
6 Mr Darcy is GAY??????

I need a lie down.....

Why So Serious? A review of The Dark Knight

I really wasn't going to go see this movie.

The trailers looked too dark and I convinced myself that it wasn't a film I wanted to check out - but then my curiosity got the better of me.

Fueled by my respect for Christian Bale and my enjoyment of anything Heath Ledger had done in the past, along with the rave reviews he got for his swansong performance as The Joker, it had to be done. So did it disappoint?

No way!

Let's get something straight here; this IS a DARK movie - no doubt about it, but even in the midst of the darkness, themes of redemption and human decency do shine through. Look in most movies and you'll find it somewhere.

But what really impresses here are several key performances. In truth, Christian Bale in the title role is a little peripheral at times here, dominated as he was by his Australian counterpart (more on him in a minute). But whether it's in the role of wisecracking playboy Bruce Wayne, whose idea of fun is to take an entire boatload of Russian ballerinas out for a cruise, or the often tormented and obsessed superhero, Bale delivers, and gets the tone just right in both roles.

Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Aaron Eckhart put in solid performances, but you have to admit that the movie is stolen completely by an unbelievable and virtually unrecognizable tour de force from Heath Ledger.

On the one hand it makes me so very sad that we lost Ledger directly after this movie, but on the other hand, there's a certain irony, in that I doubt that Ledger, brilliant as he is, could ever have topped that performance. Ask any actor how he/she would like to go, and they will say "at the top", and Ledger's signature role will be The Joker.

And Ledger's Joker is a truly frightening, disturbing, grotesque, malevolent monster, played with such brilliance that at times you just have to chuckle.

This movie truly belongs to Heath Ledger, and make no mistake, he WILL get an Oscar nomination and could even win the gong.

SPOILER ALERT - READ PAST THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET, AND WANT TO!!

Also noteworthy in The Dark Knight is Aaron Eckhart's transformation into Two Face, with some quite breathtaking special effects which left me baffled.

Okay this is most definitely NOT a family movie, but despite it's violence and dark nature, there are so many wonderful performances that it'l take a lot to top this for movie of the year.

Go see the Bat!

"A Bad Night to be an Atheist!"

Rangers slugger Josh Hamilton has just provided one of the most thrilling exhibitions in sports that I have ever seen, as he powered and battered his way to a record 1st round 28 in the first and only Home Run Derby to grace the House That Ruth Built.

Many of these awesome hits were around and over 500 feet, and the breathless Yankees fans quite rightly chanted his name and gave him a standing O.

Hamilton is quick to credit and glorify God for turning his life around after some years as a heroin addict which have left him with tattoos, and requires a self-imposed minder to keep him on the straight and narrow.

God has clearly made a huge impact on Josh's life and provided hope for countless others still caught up in addiction.

To be honest, it doesn't really matter who wins now, and it certainly doesn't matter that A-Rod couldn't be bothered to show up.

Bella

I really wanted to see this when it hit theaters last year, but as so often happens, I didn't get around to it. Having now got hold of it on dvd I am regretting not seeing it on the big screen even more, because this is quite simply a beautiful movie - on so many levels.

Winner of multiple awards, including those at the Toronto and Heartland Film Festivals, the movie is directed by Mexican Alejandro Monteverdi, and stars Eduardo Verastegui (who is also one of the producers) and Tammy Blanchard, who is maybe better known for her past TV work.

The story follows Jose (Verastegui) a soccer player about to sign a lucrative contract, but who is prevented from doing so by a tragic accident that causes him to leave soccer and work in New York as a chef at his brother's restaurant. Here he meets and befriends waitress Nina (Blanchard) who has just been fired through circumstances not entirely beyond her control.

The bulk of the movie takes place on just one day, a day in which Nina discovers that maybe there is hope after all, and that there is more to the mysterious bearded chef than at first meets the eye, and that maybe he has something to hide too.

Monteverdi has said that he really wanted to dispel the myth that Hispanics are either dishonest cheaters or dangerous lotharios, and he succeeds admirably by portraying a normal Mexican family, with it's warmth, loyalty and humor.

Through selective use of flashbacks and sections where the dialogue is purposely hidden, the viewer is made to do some of the work in figuring out what is going on, which I really like.

There are pretty much guarenteed to be tears at point in the movie, particularly at the end, but you never get the impression that the film-makers are out to deliberately cause emotion. It's simply a story which they passionately believe in, being well-told.

In an age where questionable moral standards are the norm, Bella is a beautifully shot breath of fresh air, with a soundtrack to die for (if it ever gets released), and is the kind of movie that Christians should definitely encourage, as it is badly needed for a whole host of reasons.

If you haven't seen it you are missing out big time, so please check it out, and lewt me know what you think!

David Martin - "Something In Your Eyes"

This guy may be familiar to some as worship leader Dave Lubben, who had a cd out a while back on Vertical called "A Place Called Surrender". Well this is one in the same guy who goes by the name of David Martin for his mainstream career. He is a talented singer/songwriter/instrumentalist/producer who for this, his first solo mainstream release (on the Astonish label) has managed the heroic feat of writing all ten songs about his wife.

Martin has a pretty high register voice, which reminds you of people like Glenn Tillbrook of Squeeze, or even Maroon 5's Adam Levine. The songs however are superb. Written from a strongly Christian perspective, even if the lyrics might not appear that way, they deal with such subjects as separation, going through rough patches, to downright adoration and gratitude to God for bringing them together.

The title track is probably the strongest song, a heartfelt look back to what first attracted the singer to his spouse ("What I saw still holds me in awe"), but each song is lovingly crafted and beautifully performed. Look out for Sting and Peter Gabriel drummer Manu Katche throughout.

I really couldn't recommend this album highly enough, and I'm so excited that David Martin is to produce the next album by my friend and talented local artist Michael Bahn. What a great combination.

Before The Throne

Tonight it was brought home to me just how God soothes us through our feelings of guilt. If we were honest, most of us say we battle with - sometimes irrational feelings of guilt, and our own unworthiness as a result. Clearly this comes from the enemy. Just listen to these words from the Stuart Townend song "Before The Throne Of God Above"

"When Satan tempts me to despair, and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see Him there, Who made an end of all my sin."

This tells me two things. First that no matter how we might feel about our guilt - with or without perceived justification - God is unequivocal; guilt has been wiped away and our sin put to an end...daily.

Second, our instinct when we want to beat up on ourselves is to look DOWN, isn't it? But we need to train ourselves to look UP first, into the face of our Redeemer who longs to comfort us and tell us that our sins are washed away. We are justified.

So, remember that you need to go against your instinct to look down toward the ground when you mess up - because you will. Try and make sure the first direction you look is upwards.